People Pleaser Original Painting

• 36" x 36"
• Acrylic on canvas
• 2024

One thing I've struggled with in my relation to the world is what is known as People Pleasing. It's when you are always the bigger person in confrontations, always putting everyone else's feelings and concerns before yourself, constantly telling jokes or entertaining- literally pleasing those around you as a replacement for a genuine personality- mitigating the fear that people will shun you for being fully yourself.

I'll leave the ambiguity of what it means to 'be fully yourself' out of this short description.

The irony of this defense mechanism is that when you act this way, people end up shunning you anyway. 

It's an extreme version of kindness that turns into a fault rather than a virtue. One that leaves you walking on eggshells, feeling anxious and afraid to speak your mind.

Although to say that I've overcome this dilemma is to invite it's re-emergence, I can say with full confidence that I've gotten a lot more balanced in my approach to my expression in the world. This painting is my attempt to illustrate people pleasing all the time felt like.